Posted in: by Sean Axmaker, Contributors, Essays

Food fright

We all know that yummy is a matter of taste. One person’s seasoned steak is another’s stomachache, and while the rush of chocolate can have wondrous chemical effects to the body, it doesn’t necessarily set everyone’s taste buds dancing with delight. The delicacies of adults — asparagus, mushrooms, caviar — leave many kids scratching their heads, wondering just what the horrors of puberty have done to grown-up palates.

But there are some foods on which children and parents, boys and girls, meat-eaters and vegetarians alike can find common ground. Because some things are simply too weird and yucky. Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs 2 gives us a whole new category of food: the foodimal. It’s both animal and vegetable, just the thing to give both herbivores and carnivores pause. Because who wants to eat a salad that tries to walk away, or even worse, follows you around like a pet?

That just scratches the surface of movie meals that you would never eat in real life, except for maybe on a double-dog dare. And even then, some of these would give you pause. Here are some of the strangest, ickiest and most dangerous meals ever served up on the big screen. You might be forgiven for not cleaning your plate.

Pizza the Hut – a deadly criminal or a fest food delivery gone rogue?

“Spaceballs” (1987)

Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs 2 is not the first film to turn a meal into a full-fledged character in its own right. Mel Brooks did it in his Star Wars spoof decades ago. But what, exactly, is the dreaded Pizza the Hut, an alien crime boss who looks like the contents of a dumpster upended behind a mall food court, sheds toppings like fleas and has a habit of nibbling on his own crust? A creature? A villain? A fast-food delivery gone horribly wrong? Clearly, this evolutionary takeout misstep suggests an alternate theory to the origins of life in the universe. If this greasy, bloated villain wasn’t cooked up in the cosmic kitchen, it must have spontaneously come to life in the compost bin, which would make Pizza the Hut the leftovers that threatened the universe.

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